Above who they say we are.
Generation Y is not the degeneration fuel.
Echo Boomers will bring the present far.
Selfies are mocked, portraits not up to par,
deemed as shallow as the kiddie pool.
But we are above who they say we are.
Claim we're too enamored with hookups and stars,
sex drives running wild, with no set rules.
Yet, us Echo Boomers will bring the present far.
Assume we long for riches and lush cars,
without pulling our weight in school.
Still, we are above who they say we are.
Facebook and Snapchat viewed as bizarre,
for lasting friendships- not a proper tool.
However, Echo Boomers will bring the present far.
Beyond the slander, past the narrow bar,
we will run fast enough to win this dual.
Above who they say we are.
Echo Boomers will bring the present far.
Millennials(original)
Above who they say we are.
Generation Y is not the degeneration.
Echo Boomers bring you the present of today.
Selfies mocked when they are merely portraits,
Deemed as shallow as the kiddie pool.
Above who they say we are.
Too enamored with the hook-up culture scene,
Sex drives running wild, unrestrained.
Echo Boomers bring you the present of today.
Longing for all the riches in the land,
Though we have yet to work a day in our lives.
Above who they say we are.
Lost in the bubble of Facebook and Snapchat,
Unable to create lasting connections.
Echo Boomers bring you the present of today.
We are beyond the slander of our critics.
If we run fast enough, we can make the distance.
Above who they say we are.
Echo Boomers bring you the present of today.
Generation Y is not the degeneration fuel.
Echo Boomers will bring the present far.
Selfies are mocked, portraits not up to par,
deemed as shallow as the kiddie pool.
But we are above who they say we are.
Claim we're too enamored with hookups and stars,
sex drives running wild, with no set rules.
Yet, us Echo Boomers will bring the present far.
Assume we long for riches and lush cars,
without pulling our weight in school.
Still, we are above who they say we are.
Facebook and Snapchat viewed as bizarre,
for lasting friendships- not a proper tool.
However, Echo Boomers will bring the present far.
Beyond the slander, past the narrow bar,
we will run fast enough to win this dual.
Above who they say we are.
Echo Boomers will bring the present far.
Millennials(original)
Above who they say we are.
Generation Y is not the degeneration.
Echo Boomers bring you the present of today.
Selfies mocked when they are merely portraits,
Deemed as shallow as the kiddie pool.
Above who they say we are.
Too enamored with the hook-up culture scene,
Sex drives running wild, unrestrained.
Echo Boomers bring you the present of today.
Longing for all the riches in the land,
Though we have yet to work a day in our lives.
Above who they say we are.
Lost in the bubble of Facebook and Snapchat,
Unable to create lasting connections.
Echo Boomers bring you the present of today.
We are beyond the slander of our critics.
If we run fast enough, we can make the distance.
Above who they say we are.
Echo Boomers bring you the present of today.
This poem does a great job defending millennialist in a world where they are mocked. The concept is simple but is carried out effectively. The poem sticks to the villanelle specifications and flows nicely. The author gives specific examples of how millennialist are characterized and critiqued. The refrains work well.
ReplyDeleteImagery of this poem is incredible! Specifically: Deemed as shallow as the kiddie pool. You really have a knack for your creative expressions. One critique- you did not do the ABA rhyme pattern that is typical of a villanelle. I feel bad because I had the same issue!! Great use of the refrains throughout the poem though!
ReplyDeleteI really like the idea of the poem. By saying "who they say we are", you were able to say that we aren't really what society is making us out to be. Maybe I'm missing something but I'm not sure what echo boomers are. I was still able to figure everything out though. As for improvements, I think that theres supposed to be more rhyming in a villanelle and if you could fix that it would also help the rhythm of the poem, because right now it lacks some. Otherwise, love the idea!
ReplyDeleteI liked how this poem combined many pop culture references and problems of today with a traditional style of poem writing. As some of the other comments mentioned, the poem deviates from a traditional villanelle by leaving out the rhyming pattern but it seems to be purposeful.
ReplyDeleteI feel like this poem could be improved by livening up some of the stiffer lines like "unable to create lasting connections." One line that was very effective was "Generation Y is not the degeneration." The word play in this line makes it fresh and interesting to read!
It takes a brave writer to defend a generation with the "we" voice. That takes a certain verve, which animates the poem. One thing though: in some stanzas I couldn't tell if you were defending or condemning Gen Y, as it's sometimes called.
ReplyDeleteStanzas one, two, and six defend your generation, while three, four, and five cite others' criticism without rebutting it. This gives a mixed impression of the speaker's regard for her generation, which rather confuses the message of the poem in my book. I guess since you end with praise, the overall point is to praise, but this would be more clear if some effort was made to render the defense more consistent.
Formally, the poem uses repetition like a villanelle (good job), but the rhyme scheme is absent. The meter is mostly absent too. You definitely should fix the rhymes, or it's just plain not a villanelle. This is essential and will require you to rewrite some of the end words. Luckily the end-sounds for your refrain lines are easy to work with in terms of rhymes.
Good luck revising, and I look forward to seeing what you come up with!